Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Monday, May 29, 2017

Day 033 Of 365 Days of Cock

 I drew this one for the people that like to get so fucked up that they can’t fuck while also being on a budget… Who doesn’t like to save a buck or two?

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Day 032 Of 365 Days of Cock

 Calling Philippines president Rodrigo Duterte a dick is an understatement, he is a smelly piece of shit (which is also an understatement) …Fuck Duterte’s multiple fucked up rape comments, fuck his human rights violations, and fuck him for being a son of a whore (not sure why this is an insult, but he felt it was a good one when he said it about Obama)

  My intention isn’t to draw these and be political because I am probably the worst person to articulate their feelings on such issues (or any issue), for the most part I want to be silly, but fuck this guy! I get that we disagree about the drug war but wishing you could be like Hitler and kill millions, & joking about wanting to be first in a gang rape of an Australian missionary is just fucking sick…

 Alright enough about this human excrement… So far I have found that Sunday is the most difficult day to do this, which is probably why my drawings are so rushed on this day. I keep a weird schedule on the weekends, but that is not interesting 

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Day 031 Of 365 Days of Cock

 On my wall I have a Melvins the Giving Tree parody print, I look at it everyday when I am jamming records so I thought this would be an excellent idea for a cock themed drawing... 

Friday, May 26, 2017

Day 030 Of 365 Days of Cock

Fuck, I made it to day #30… People seem to forget the Dead Milkmen’s releases on Hollywood Records because they were on Hollywood Records but they had some great gems on those releases… Soul Rotation is one of my favorite Dead Milkmen albums with such great tunes as Secret of Life, Big Scary Place, Conspiracy Song, All Around The World, Silly Dreams, If I Had A Gun, & Shaft In Greenland… My brother gave this to me for a Christmas gift in 1992 and I have been constantly jamming it ever since…. Not Richard But Dick, this is another album I first heard thanks to my little brother Kurt. Kurt brought this home Barney’s Records (Woodland, CA) at first I didn’t dig this album but after a few jams this also became a favorite, Leggo My Ego, I Dream Of Jesus, Jason’s Head, Little Volcano, I Started To Hate You, & The Woman Who Was Also A Mongoose all belong in my long list of best Dead Milkmen track’s but I think the entire album is solid!

 Since we are on #30 what better song to mention than City Bus #30 by Tenement, I am sure I have mentioned it but I absolutely love Tenement, I love Husker Du & Guided By Voices and they are that bridge between those two… Well, time to get drunk! 

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Day 029 Of 365 Days of Cock

 Dick Move of the Week! Congressional candidate Greg Gianforte body slamming a journalist for asking a question he didn’t like… I swear this guy either has rage issues or is stupid because body slamming a journalist is probably a better answer for the journalist than the half ass answer he or she would have been expecting… I also found the Good Morning America interview with Ben Jacobs, saying he is recovering and taking Advil or some shit hilarious… I don’t know why but I find this whole story funny, well unless Greg Gianforte wins…

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Day 028 Of 365 Days of Cock

YM - "This is Swedish guitar god & butt rock legend Yngwie Malmsteen. I will not be able to play the House of Blues Las Vegas on June 7th because my belly is burning, it feels as if it’s on fire!"

Bakla - "Can the Las Vegas punk scene be of some assistance? Luckily for you I ate a pound of asparagus for breakfast & I’m all full of juice"

YM - "Your hospitality is warmer than your rancid smelling urine!"

 I love punk rock music because I can’t stand music such as Yngwie Malmsteen or any other 80’s butt rock guitar noodling shit… I can tell that these guitarists have the skills, talent, woman’s stretch pants & potatoes stuffed down the front of their pants, but I just can’t dig it… anyway I have a coworker named Johnny Z and he must have asked me a million times if I like Yngwie Malmsteen & if I am going to his upcoming gig… I like John a lot so I am not trying to bag on him, but for whatever reason that inspired this drawing… Fun fact: I saw Michael Schenker with John a few years back, John said the show ruled, I assumed it sucked I was drunk and busy talking to coworkers… Bonus Fun Fact: My older brother and lifelong asshole loves butt rock

Monday, May 22, 2017

Day 026 Of 365 Days of Cock

Q- Why did I start 365 Days of Cock?
A- The Devil made me do it!

 Since we are on the subject of the evil forces we might as well mention some songs that touch upon the subject, Anal Cunt has a tune titled Brutally Morbid Axe of Satan which is 20 seconds of anti-music. Von has a tune titled Satanic Blood that has the most obnoxious drum machine (?) I have ever heard. The Boneless Ones say you should Skate For The Devil. MDC says, Hail Satan. One of my favorite bands Swervedriver has a killer tune Last Train To Satansville. Teenage Fanclub & the Dwarves both have a tune titled Satan, if you are curious I prefer the Dwarves one. Suicidal Tendencies claims, I Shot The Devil. Gang Green sings about Evil & that they Party With The Devil. Today Is The Day says Satan is Alive on their Temple Of The Morning Star LP. Venom not only claim to be Sons of Satan but also to be In League With Satan. Spazz not only has a compilation album titled Sweatin’ 3: Skatin’ Satan, & Katon, but that album includes the tunes Satan’s Scrilla, & Skatin’ and Satan Go Hand In Hoof… I fucking love Spazz, I am not the biggest fan of Power Violence or extreme hard core, but they did it well with just enough hooks to keep it interesting. Decide not only pays Homage To Satan, they also claim to be Satan Spawn. Outclass say Kick God In The Face, Hail Satan! The Fixtures have a great song and album titled the Devil’s Playground. The Misfits frequent the Devil’s Whorehouse and sport Devillocks…. You could go on & on… I didn’t even tackle evil band names like the Devil Dogs, Lucy’s Fur Coat, or Murder City Devils…

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Day 024 Of 365 Days of Cock

 Even though I am known for my love of all things punk & have never been the biggest fan of metal, I have always had a soft spot for the occasional thrash metal jam, this began in the late 80’s through the 90’s due to extreme skate sessions …nothing got you skating Owens Ditch (R.I.P.) harder than Prong’s Beg To Differ… this is also one of the few albums everyone in my group had their own copy of. Usually we just dubbed a tape and passed it around, kind of like your boyfriend (& or girlfriend)…

…Anyway, tonight Prong is playing at the Brooklyn Bowl with Sepultura & Testament, following that if I am not too wasted I will try to catch Bow Wow Wow @ the Dive or the Pluralses @ Evil Pie, either way it should be fun!

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Day 022 Of 365 Days of Cock

In 1984 Mystic Records released the punk rock compilation We Got Power Part 2: Party or Go Home! On that record there is a track titled Penis Youth by a band called the Penis Brigade, this great tune would be my first and last time hearing from them

… I tried looking up the lyrics to Penis Youth, but I couldn’t find any that looked accurate and the insert for the record just has a phone number that I was tempted to call…. If I become a millionaire I will bankroll a Penis Brigade reunion, I’ll have them do a private show for my friends & I at Hakkasan. Since I have no friends it will be just the band Penis Brigade, the club employees & I…

 I have to saying drawing this one felt like work, not because I didn’t enjoy drawing it… I drank like a motherfucker yesterday… I was ready for bed the second I walked into work, to make matters worse for half my shift I wasn’t sure if I had to fart or make a spicy beer shit… damn, I should have eaten a banana while I was getting tore up… Well I made it to 22, which would be a good reason to jam the 22 Jacks / Clowns For Progress split 7” but I’ll save that for tomorrow it’s night night! 

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Day 021 Of 365 Days of Cock

 One day I was at work & I looked up the benefits of urine & a Vice article about wiping your piss on your face popped up… as I walked around the casino the idea for this cartoon was born, as I got wasted after work, this cartoon was whipped up! Now that I am super-duper drunk this shit is getting posted…

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Day 020 Of 365 Days of Cock

To quote Lesley Gore, “It’s my party, & I’ll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, you would cry to if it happened to you”

Monday, May 15, 2017

Day 019 Of 365 Days of Cock

 I love bands like Mega City Four, Swervedriver, & the Doughboys, so since we are on the #19 we have to mention the Les Thug’s LP Nineteen Something which is an excellent album, filled with great post punk / alternative rock tunes that would go well on a mix tape with the previously mentioned bands… 

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Day 018 Of 365 Days of Cock

 I am not trying to make this political… my point of drawing this is whether you agree with Trump’s politics or if you disagree, it’s pretty hard to deny that Donald Trump’s public persona is one of a fucking dickhead.

…I almost didn’t draw this one because it seemed too obvious. 

update 05/20/17

 Yesterday before I got drunk I was listening to NPR and they had a story about Donald Trump meeting with Saudi Arabia ...in the story they went on about how the Saudis will enjoy meeting with Trump because he won't pester them about human rights (unlike Obama)... hearing this I became very disappointed, sure most presidents don't give a fuck about human rights but at least they pretend to care that the public cares... this is beyond being a dick, not caring about human rights makes you a horrible person & a fucking dick!

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Day 017 Of 365 Days of Cock

Deadly Cocks: On November 28 2015 Richard Henry Patterson was accused of murdering his girlfriend. His defense is that she choked on his abnormally large penis. As evidence Patterson’s attorney has asked the judge to allow the defendant to show his huge schlong to the court.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Day 016 Of 365 Days of Cock

Famous Penises Through History: GG Allin’s Micro Penis! GG Allin Punk Rock super villain, famous for flinging feces, while belting out such classics as Shit On My Prick, is also just as famous for his Guinness Book of World Record setting micro-penis! 

To quote BJ from Puckered Starfish, "animal nature, he had a small prick, he ate his own shit, what a great man!

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Day 015 Of 365 Days of Cock

Famous penises through history: John Wayne Bobbit's Penis, in 1993 John Wayne Bobbit’s penis was chopped off by his then wife Lorena Bobbit while he was asleep. According to Lorena, John Wayne was sexually, physically, & emotionally abusive and raped her the night of the penis removal. After the penis was severed Lorena fled the scene & flung John Wayne’s cock out of the car window. Luckily for John Wayne Bobbit, Lorena called 9-11 to report the missing penis. After an extensive search the ding dong was found and reattached…

John Wayne Bobbit Fun Facts! …according to former Puckered Starfish drummer Darwin, Lorena Bobbit is a hero in Ecuador for chopping of an Americans dick!

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Day 013 Of 365 Days of Cock

 Working in a casino on the Las Vegas Strip I often come in contact with young men that have shitty attitudes about woman, liberally use homophobic language, are put off by anything that isn’t “normal”, & seem to not give a fuck about anything but getting their dicks sucked or wet… if this is our future we are fucked! I don’t fault the prostitutes that “trick roll” them, I applaud them

 If you played a drinking game and took a shot every time they referred to someone as a “pussy” you would die of alcohol poisoning

Monday, May 8, 2017

Day 012 Of 365 Days of Cock

Today Bethany Thinks I'm a dick because she called in sick because she wants a day filled with tranquility, fuck that shit! I got off my graveyard shift ready to raise hell with beer and whiskey, & a playlist including God's America & other unpleasant bands that I love!

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Day 011 Of 365 Days of Cock

"Suck my ass as hard as you hit the Golden Corral, you sweet obese fuck!" ... Bumcleaver and the rest of the libertines are back for a face farting good time!

 Judging from the commercials & the people I know that go there, I don't care to ever go to the Golden Corral restaurant.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Day 010 Of 365 Days of Cock

Legendary Dick Heads! John Adams, not the second president or the sixth president of the United States, but my asshole (former) coworker! He hated fat people and thought everyone was stupid! John never met anyone he didn't have a shitty comment for. When he quit our place of employment everyone cheered, good fucking riddance! Where ever you are John Adams, "fuck you!" & your shitty taste in music.

 Over the years I have worked with several assholes like John Adams, they are fucking miserable so they come to work and make their coworkers life's as miserable as theirs. People like this should either get help, work by themselves, masturbate, smoke some weed, or possibly consider shooting themselves. Look, John Adams & assholes just like him, you don't have to come to work and "walk on egg shells" or be everyone's friend, but just refrain from being a toxic fuck... this applies to students as well... all you mother fuckers are such chicken shits, if you get caught you claim to be joking, you hide behind the fact that no one wants to be a narc, and if we rightfully knock your dick into the dirt we will be the ones that get punished.

 It's funny, I haven't worked with John Adams for years, but after all this time I have nothing but hate for this mother fucker. At the time I was stressed out about looming layoffs and had a family to support and the last thing I needed was a fucking coward tormenting me at work. It's funny, just
knowing that this wimp couldn't stand a chance in a fist fight with me just makes the thoughts of this fucker even more infuriating.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Day 009 Of 365 Days of Cock

Never realized the #9 looks like a boto till today... which is day 9 of the 365 Days of Cock! So in honor of 9, I'm gonna jam King Nine, 9 Shocks Terror, Buck O 9, 999, & Orange 9mm... and I'm gonna round things of with the album 9 by PiL
...it's really funny I got turned onto to King 9 by one of my customers, usually my customers listen to shitty music or no music at all, So on his suggestion I ran out (stayed in and ordered online) & scooped up their Art of War 7", great hard core record, my only complaint is that it's over before you know it, kind of like having sex with me... 

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Day 008 Of 365 Days of Cock

May the force, May the fourth be with you... whatever you call it! I didn't even know this was a holiday till my boss told me it was, so I thought I'd get in the spirit and make a Star Wars themed drawing... this wasn't meant to be an attack on Star Wars or it's fans... Everything I know about Star Wars I know from the band Boba Fett Youth and not very much else...

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Day 007 Of 365 Days of Cock

There is no better way to celebrate day 7 of the 365 Days of Cock than giving a nod to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite band, I hope You Get Drafted by the Dicks is a perfect example of what I love about punk, sometimes punk rock doesn't get it right, this is an example of when it's more right than fuck! ...please note I was extremely intoxicated when transcribing these lyrics by memory so fuck off if I got them wrong.... 

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Day 006 Of 365 Days of Cock

Karl Bakla is a Good Samaritan! 

Day 005 Of 365 Days of Cock

Day 004 Of 365 Days of Cock

Day 003 Of 365 Days of Cock

Day 002 Of 365 Days of Cock

Day 001 Of 365 Days of Cock

 I should have started this blog six days ago, but that is putting too much thought into this thing

...when I decided to do a 365 Days of Cock project I wasn't to sure what to draw, so I walked around work and I thought about a Creature From The Black Lagoon mixed with an Anglerfish and this is what I ended up with... this very rare mutation allows this creature to suck it's own dick, because he lives in a region with very few options to get his pecker wet, a genetic mutation allows this party animal to suck himself off, well, until he gets hard because then his penis sticks straight up and into the air, then he must use his hands to finish himself off