Saturday, September 30, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!


Brett Vee - Derivative Nation 7"


I am very excited about this !!BONUS COCK!! We have the new Brett Vee 7" with insert done by yours truly. This means so much to me, Brett Vee makes great music, he is a good friend, & to top it off the record is put out on my friend Bobby's record label Running In Place... even if you think my cock art is dumb you should order 50 of these or at the very least give it a listen on Bandcamp!

!!BONUS COCK!!

The FEST 16 is coming up, so I thought I would do a !!Bonus Cock!! to honor it... I have been to FEST quite a few times and have been pretty bummed that I have missed it the last few years... one of the bands I discovered at the first FEST I went to was Vaginasore Jr, I love Dinosaur Jr and I love stupid puns so I had to check them out, turned out I dug them, but why wouldn't I? Turns out they had members from bands I already loved such as Clairmel, King Friday, the Tim Version...etc. I can't even count all the bands I fell in love with from going to FEST, but some of them are Unfun, Iron Chic, the Measure [sa], Blood Bath and Beyond, Lemuria, Too Many Daves, the Riot Before, City Mouse, Defiance Ohio, Municipal Waste...etc and the list goes on, I also made good friends, so I hope all of you that are going this year have an even better time than the amazing times I have had... damn, I forgot to mention all the yummy places to eat... 

Day 157 Of 365 Days of Cock

"When we cease to question war as entertainment,
and Christian battle hymns will keep us pacified,
you can tie a yellow ribbon 'round your cock boy,
you're just along for the ride

we all fall down!"


- Good Riddance

What a great song off an amazing album, and sadly just as true if not more now than ever! 

Friday, September 29, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!

 It is super hot as fuck in my house, luckily my air conditioner broke at the end of summer, sure you can chalk this up to problems that don't rank as high as other people in the worlds problems, so fuck me! Our brothers and sisters in Puerto Rico are suffering, so if you can spare some dough kick some down to your preferred disaster relief organization... 


 Anyway, since last nights Atari controller was so much fun, I thought I should add one from one of my favorite Nintendo games Super Mario Bros... Nintendo is another game system my brothers & I received thanks to my dad... we played the shit out of it, & I shit you not we were the first people in our neighborhood to have one, everyone was at our house to play along with us, we were pretty hot shit for about 2 seconds... anyway, this is a Goomba from Super Mario and it took little to no tweaking to make it look like a penis... I have to go, it is hot as fuck and time for another beer, have you tried those Unita Ready Set Gose? Pretty damn tasty! 

Day 156 Of 365 Days of Cock

I swear there is a Creedence Clearwater Revival song that goes, "Sweet Hitch-Hiker sit on my face, cruising on through the junction I finally got his penis out"

 A couple of years back Bethany and I were driving to Slab City to drop off some donations at the library (maybe it was last year, I dunno I am a drunk), but on the way we were rocking the MP3 player on shuffle and the song Sweet Hitch Hiker by Creedence Clearwater Revival came on, we must have have replayed it a dozen times, "I was like, holy shit did he say, "I finally got his penis out"?" fuck, that road trip was such a good time... anyway the Slab City Library is awesome, so if you can spare some dough or some books, put it to good use and support something that is more amazing that whatever it is we are doing! I dunno you might be doing something amazing, I am not! 

Thursday, September 28, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!

I am starting my day stressed out and it's not because of Trump, I thought some bonus cock was in order to even out my mood...  I have to go to work in a few minutes and I can't ruin those visitors good time with my bad mood. Any way, I am sure someone has drawn something similar and probably much better, but last night I was walking around work day dreaming and I thought about an Atari joystick with a penis for a joystick... I remember being a little kid and my parents divorced, my mom moved to Washington to get away from my dad or some shit, & one day my dad visited and he brought with him an Atari, it was bad ass! I don't remember all of the games we had but I do remember playing Pitfall and loving it! 

Day 155 Of 365 Days of Cock

 When I was younger I thought the Mentors were funny, then I got older & met people that took that shit seriously & it ruined the joke for me... anyway, the Mentors are well known for their perverted lyrics many that tackle the subject of having a penis, with that stated here are a few of their biggest dick hits!

*My Erection Is Over
*Can't Get It Up
*Constantly Jackin'
*Chicks With Dicks
*Donkey Dick

 If you want to catch the Mentors live they will be playing the Dive bar on 09/30/17, if you are feeling adventurous that Saturday you can hit up the Brooklyn Bowl prior and catch Andrew WK and Rayner...

Mentors show info

Andrew WK / Rayner show info




Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Day 154 Of 365 Days of Cock


This one goes out to my buddy Benny L who is no longer with us, Ben was an amazing artist and a funny as fuck guy. Ben would walk around singing this version of the Salt 'n' Pepa tune Non Of Your Business...

If I wanna take a guy fuck him in the eye, non of your business, if I wanna take a dick and give it a quick lick non of your business!

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Day 153 Of 365 Days of Cock


Trick or Treat!
Give me some cock to eat!

Halloween is next month you have just over a month to get your costume figured out, any ideas?

Have you been watching American Vandal? Pretty funny, I'm on episode 4 and so far I am loving it. The persecution of cock art must end, ha!

follow the link and watch the trailer 


I'm still without a keyboard but not for long....

Monday, September 25, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!

 Trump makes waking up a nightmare... as I type this I am getting ready for bed and I am wondering what "adventures" our president will get himself into!

 See you in the morning or tonight, I work graveyard! 

Day 152 Of 365 Days of Cock

The Fleshlight one of the innovations that change the course of human history

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Day 151 Of 365 Days of Cock

Yesterday I was in San Diego and I stopped by Red Brontosaurus Records, and I'm glad I did because it was a great record store. I enjoyed talking to Mike big time and I appreciated their great selection of punk rock records. I highly suggest you stopping by.

 Other San Diego highlights were Fall Brewing, Live Wire, Swervedriver, the beach, & seeing my buddy Floyd.

I am still without a keyboard and typing this still sucks shit....


Thursday, September 21, 2017

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!

Even though it would be fun do not shoot at a hurricane or any other natural disaster... save your amo and piss into the wind!

The other day I heard some news story about why you shouldn't shoot at a hurricane, it was in regard to something on Facebook I assume it was a joke, but I guess it needed to be clarified or some shit! 

Day 147 Of 365 Days of Cock

Winner, Winner! Penis dinner!

Monday, September 18, 2017

Day 145 Of 365 Days of Cock

Monster Bangin'! One monster cock! One monster expense report! One monster hunger for cock!

 Working on the Las Vegas strip I have to deal with Alt Right looking guys that are drunk and on the prowl for tits n ass, this drawing is for the guys on the prowl for monster cock!

 For some reason my wireless keyboard is not connecting to my computer, which makes typing this a pain in the ass... so if in the next week or so you are not treat to any of my writings that is the reason


Sunday, September 17, 2017

Day 144 Of 365 Days of Cock

"My new best friend is a 
heating-pad, Damn I feel old!"

 Being older doesn't bother me, but not heeling from boo-boos like you used to sure sucks!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Day 143 Of 365 Days of Cock


"Bad dogs don't get rewarded with 
hardy helping of cock!"

 Even though I am a punk rock kind of guy I would be lying if I didn't admit to loving the songs Sex Dwarf by Soft Cell, & Master and Servants by Depeche Mode... This drawing is more inspired by the Soft Cell tune, I have to admit that I often walk around work thinking the lyrics, "I would like you on a long black leash, I will parade you down the high streets, You've got the attraction, You've got the pulling power, Walk my doggie, & Walk my little sex dwarf" ...this drawing has nothing to do with Devo but I added the Enrgy Dome, because Devo rules!

Friday, September 15, 2017

Day 142 Of 365 Days of Cock


America is very polarized at the center of it is two political parties everyone agrees sucks shit, yet the majority can't wait to root for their "favorite" team (AKA the team that isn't the other team)

Left Dick, "My party pretends to be against the war & they pretended to evolve on a gay marriage"

Right Dick, "My party pretends to be all about tax cuts for working folks! As for war my party is for it!"

Both Dicks think, "what is DAPL?" actually they don't think that, they never heard of it...

It cracked me up last presidential election I heard so many folks complain about how their parties candidate sucked shit, then they would go over to whatever coworker that was voting for the opposing candidate and argue why their candidate that sucked shit was better... to be fair I didn't see too many coworkers that were stoked about Donald Trump, but for fucks sake did I witness a lot of Democrats that had reservations about Hillary Clinton, force feed themselves the Kool-Aid, a couple of months later they would admit the only thing Hillary had going for her was that she wasn't Trump... blah, blah, blah, as for Trump, I have noticed the "give him a chance people" are beginning to get sick of his shit, the travel expense thing is something easy for them to understand, also the "both sides deserve equal blame" thing seemed to annoy them too, sure my right wing coworkers think rotten egg wielding anarchists deserve a swift kick in the ass, but they seem to grasp that running a car into a crowd of people is much different...  

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Day 141 Of 365 Days of Cock

"You may know him as Tyrion Lannister, but he will always be Marlowe Sawyer to me (AKA the dude that porked Julia on NIP/TUCK)"

 I hate to admit it, but I enjoyed watching NIP/TUCK then they moved to Los Angeles and I stopped giving a fuck! Anyway, one of my favorite characters was Marlowe who was played by Peter Dinklage, since then I get stoked when I see him... when Bethany watches Game of Thrones & I spot him on screen I can't help but think, "that guy fucked Dr.Sean McNamara's wife!" ...I must be the only person in America that has not watched Game of Thrones, maybe in thirteen years I will... it's hard to watch much TV when you are constantly drunk and listening to punk rock records... damn, that's another draw back to my injury, alcohol doesn't mix well with the medication I am taking, I guess it can cause tummy bleeding, maybe a lie, but I would rather not take that chance!

 Last but not least, I threw in a little nod to the Marked Men who are a band I fell in love with at FEST 6, seemed like everyone already loved and knew who they were but me, anyway they killed it! Fuck that was almost 10 years ago. I also caught High Tension Wires at that FEST who are a band I have been jamming a lot lately... some related bands I have been jamming a lot are Low Culture, Bad Sports, & Shang A Lang, but I always jam these bands!


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!

 Hillary Clinton what went wrong? For starters you are a dickhead! 

 This one is too obvious but I am tired of hearing and seeing this dick head reappear... What went wrong was that Hillary Clinton, the DNC, and people that know better forced an "electable" candidate on us... Whether the faults of Hillary Clinton were real or make believe, people believed them. She was so disliked that for the first time in my life I heard lazy voters proclaim that they were going to vote to stop Hillary & they didn't care who won.... The primaries were total bullshit and rigged to ensure that someone who was "electable" would win! Well, thank you Hillary Clinton, the DNC, and people that know better, you got a racist dickhead elected!

Day 140 Of 365 Days of Cock


"the doc says I am suffering from Achilles tendinitis... whatever that shit fucking sucks!

!!BONUS COCK!!



 I have to say this shit sucks... being stuck watching Breaking Bad (for the second time) while propping my leg up is not my idea of a good time, sure it's far from the worst thing in the world but it sucks, I just want to drink a beer, go to work, and draw cock, but this bull shit Achilles tendinitis is fucking up the party... oh well, this will give me all the time to catch up with the Turned Out A Punk Podcast, blah, blah, blah, anyway this Bonus Cock is a drawing of my foot being propped up while Hector "Tio" Salamanca mad dogs Gustavo Fring...

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Day 139 Of 365 Days of Cock

My coworker John and I were talking about the "Make America Greats Again" hats & he said to me, "you got to give it to Trump, you see those hats all over the place, he sold a lot of them, & those hats aren't even cool looking!" Ha, so true! They look like something you would've had made at the swapmeet. Anyway, it always surprises me all of the young adults I see sporting Reagan / Bush '84 T-shirts and Make America Great Again hats... I know I asked it before, "but aren't these people a bit young to be so fucking lame?" 

Monday, September 11, 2017

Day 138 Of 365 Days of Cock

We are 138, we are 138, we are 138!

Damn, I made it to drawing #138 and that number is important in punk rock because the Misfits are fucking awesome, well they used to be fucking awesome... If I could make it I'd go to the reformed Misfits gig in L.A., I don't need to be up front, I just want to stand back and enjoy those great tunes! 

 On the subject of 138 I periodically write for onethirtyeight.org  haven't for a while, but I reserve the chance to do it whenever something good pops up, you can read one of my reviews here http://www.onethirtyeight.org/gig-reviews/appalachian-terror-unit-modern-pets-problems-elements-of-now-yayo-taco 

Anyway this is the very elusive dicknose tabby...

 Also today is September 11th, I remember being woken up to shouts of, "the country is under attack" I remember going to work and coming in contact with visitors that just wanted to go home and the last place they wanted to be was Las Vegas... it's crazy that we are still in a never ending war with a country that had nothing to do with the attacks, all the soldiers that gave their lives & all the innocent civilians that lost their lives because they were guilty of living in a place we felt like invading... All the people that died in the terrorist attacks on 911 and all of the people that died or were affected by the after math, it's a tragedy that continues with no end in sight 

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Day 136 Of 365 Days of Cock

"wanting to be hard should count as being hard, fuck I am old and drunk!"

Sure I can get boners towards the end of my liver cleanse weeks, but on most weeks I am drunk as fuck, so drunk that when Bethany and I are smooching, I can't fuck, and even if I start to fuck I can't last long before I start thinking about the Marked Men and the bands that are related to that great band!

!!BONUS COCK!!


I drew this one in the bathroom of the Tonopah Liquor Company (TLC), I think more bars should have chalkboard walls... take note of the big horn sheep, I love big horn sheep! Anyway, if you are in Tonopah you have to have at least a drink in the TLC but 15 is even better.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Day 135 Of 365 Days of Cock

"Attention all giants* if you come to Las Vegas and make an explosive elote diarrhea on the Trump International Hotel I will creat for you, your own personalized cock drawing!"

*this goes for the baseball players as well

 In a city full of interesting looking hotels, I swear Trump has the most boring hotel in Las Vegas... I don't know anyone that has stayed there so I can't tell you if it is a shit hole or not...

!!BONUS COCK!!


"Don't be a dick bro!"

Spotted this at the International Car Forest of the Last Church in Goldfield, NV, if you are ever driving through Goldfield I highly suggest stopping by an taking a look


Tuesday, September 5, 2017

!!BONUS COCK!!

Jeff Sessions - "Mr.President you are making sex great again!"

Donald Trump - "the secret is pretending your sweet asshole is the dreamers and fuckin' it bigly!"

This is a quickly and drunken response to Donald Trump's over turning of DACA... You hateful & cruel motherfuck, words don't even describe what a piece a shit you are!

Day 132 Of 365 Days of Cock


 This one was inspired by Penn's Sunday school, I was listening to the podcast while drawing cock when Penn or Matt mentioned juggling for like the millionth time, and that's when inspiration hit...

...I love Penn's Sunday School, whether you agree or disagree they always have a point of view that makes you think. On the topic of Penn Jillette, when I was a young father I spotted Penn drinking coffee at Starbucks, my daughter at the time was 3 or 4 and had her new joke, "Knock, Knock! Who's There? Ralphie shoot your eye out!" something about Penn made my daughter bolt towards him in an attempt to tell her joke. I grabbed my daughter ruining her comedy career. Looking back, I wish I would have let my daughter tell Penn that joke because he strikes me as someone that might have appreciated it, sorry Penn & to my daughter I am also sorry!


!!BONUS COCK!!


I left this note for my family, I don't think it was Christmas time!

Monday, September 4, 2017

Day 131 Of 365 Days of Cock

The Least Interesting Man In The World!
"I don't always drink beer and when I'm not I'm abusing sleeping pills!"

If Dos Equis wants to go in a different direction from  "The Most Interesting Man In The World" ad campaign I have a few idea...

!!BONUS COCK!!


Spotted this bonus cock as I was walking from Ocean Side to Carl's Bad, CA this oil stain reminds me of those vibrators with clit stimulater 

 Damn, today is International Beer Day and I didn't drink any beer! Thanks to this latest drawing you know what that means!

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Day 129 Of 365 Days of Cock

 Hitting the road to Tonopah, NV, which is a great destination for a one night road trip... On the way to Tonopah you can check out Rhyolite which is an amazing ghost town, then you drive to Goldfield where there is a car forest, as well as bunch of beautiful buildings, you really get the sense that a hundred years ago this place was a big deal... then you end the day in Tonopah, where you have the Mizpah Hotel, which is a beautiful early 1900's hotel, they say the place is haunted... when you hit the streets you also have a book store, and several fun bars and a brewery to hit up... well enough typing I need to hit the road!

!!BONUS COCK!!


Spotted this cock table runner in my house, Bethany says it's a Valentines Day thing, but looks like a cock to me!

!!UPDATE 9:30 AM I hope while I'm out of town Trump finds it in his non existent heart to not scrap DACA

Friday, September 1, 2017

Day 128 Of 365 Days of Cock

Who you callin' a dicknose? 

!!BONUS COCK!!
 I was walking around Lewis Family Park while eating an elote when I spotted these chalk cocks!