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Happy Halloween... Be Safe and Have Fun!

I'm actually off tonight, looking forward to passing out a ton of candy, seeing some awesome costumes, and drinking disgusting fall flavored beers! 

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if you're dick is broke, that ain't no joke, get Rhino 7 so your cock will be woke!

Whenever I'm at the liquor store I see Rhino 7 for sale and I often wonder who takes that shit...

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...calling out my dogs!

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The Scum Will Rise!

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How to stay out of HR: don't urinate in the coffee pot

many years ago I saw a program on Fox television called Busted On The Job, or at least that is what I think it was called. On one segment employees noticed the coffee in the break room tasted weird so they set up a camera and caught their coworker urinating in the coffee pot, what a fucking dick. Even if you dislike someone that shit is out of line... 

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"You make me feel like depantsing, I'm gonna depants the night away!"

"which is most probably the reason I am constantly summed to Human Resources"

Probably not the best idea for the workplace... if a guy that does nothing but draws cock can go this long without being called to HR for sexual harassment, what are the fuckers excuses?

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According to Frank Cullotta's book The Rise and Fall Of A Casino Mobster, Tony Spilotro, "was hung like a fucking elephant" it is also written, "that when his dick got hard his other head went soft" 

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 I guess I was too drunk when drawing the "Fuck Buddies" drawing because my original vision was to have two folks in bunny costumes just like the one features above, oh well... just imagine two people like the one featured about having fun in the sun....

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"There's a right time and a right place for a fuck buddy!"

Today I realized that for years I have been combining the Pansy Division song's Bunnies & Fuck Buddies, for over years I thought Fuck Buddies was Fuck Bunnies, whatever Pansy Division rules! Another tribute to that amazing band! 

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As a hard core Vegetarian and major league cock artist I like to know at a glance if something is safe for someone like me, so I created this logo while drinking a ton of beer and jamming the record Goes Way Out! by Supercharger 

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 I guess I have Halloween on my mind, maybe I should bump Everyday is Halloween by Ministry

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Happy National Food Day!

HUNGRY?

Snack on a dick!

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it's a week till Halloween and you are running out of time to find that perfect costume...

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I saw the Mighty Mighty Bosstones the other night on Fremont Street, and I was glad to see a lack of crowd surfing... last time I saw the Bosstones was 1997? at Our Big Concert (Las Vegas) and it felt like every asshole who saw the Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit video wanted to crowd surf during the Bosstones set. I don't mind getting kicked in the head, but when it is happening every other second you get a bit annoyed... Anyway, I didn't really want to go see the Bosstones because I was drinking since early afternoon, but Bethany persuaded me... so in celebration of no dicks crowd surfing here is a drawing of a dick crowd surfing! 

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Lego... My Dickgo!

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Dicks need to stop textin' me to vote for dicks!

Seriously Motherfuckers need to stop texting me, I am looking for a reason to not vote....

Today I early voted, but it didn't really feel good about it, besides voting against the taxation of feminine products I couldn't get behind anything I voted for... When I got to the poll it was obvious everyone there was voting for a Trump endorsed or Trump Lite candidate,  while Bethany and I were voting for candidates we hate. Jackie Rosen & Steve Sisolak are practically Republicans, Rosen voted for Trump tax cut 2.0 and Suckasack is a former telephone scammer that used to be anti gay and pro guns, but changed his mind because he probably never held those original beliefs. He just punished people for their lifestyle for his political gain, these worthless Democrats should thank Trump... what other reason is there to vote for these fucks, to support fast tracking more of Trumps' judges? 

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since I was a child I have loved penguins, they are cute, they drink martinis, and they listen to Richard Cheese...

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"Might as well face it, you're addicted to cock!"

possibly a tribute to Robert Palmer "classic" Addicted To Love, I don't really have an opinion on this song, but I remember being a little fuk and seeing this song's video on MTV... on the subject of Robert Palmer, what kind of asshole writes a lyric like, "I didn't mean to turn you on?" For the record you didn't, you are fucking gross... 

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Fuck sign trucks! Fuck Mobile Billboards!

 When I'm driving to work and I get stuck behind one of those fucking mobile billboards that go below the speed limit, I get pissed off... I fucking hate that shit... I hate assholes riding scooters, I hate taxi drivers, & I especially hate drivers from California that insist on beating off while driving 15 mph on Industrial RD, also I hate poor people that wonder into traffic and make it a point to jaywalk in a slow and indirect fashion. Fuck all of you fucks!

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 last night at work I saw some dick head wearing a T-shirt that read, "I will never apologize for being an American" & I wanted to ask him, "who the fuck is asking you to apologize?" also, say someone is asking you to (even though they are not), grow the fuck up, tell them, "go fuck yourself!" No one has ever asked me to apologize for being an American and even if they did it wouldn't rank as a problem, but as something I would joke about at the bar...

 The scary thing about this is, how do you rationalize with someone that is worried about make believe? I am sure this goes along with believing in god and other irrational shit...

 Or is this guy just stupid and thinks apologizing for a past mistake is apologizing for being an American? I don't know about you, but if you think the U.S. infecting Guatemalans with STD's makes you an American then you are a fucking asshole, that shit has nothing to do with me being an American, & if someone apologizes for that, well I consider that the bare minimum of what should have been done.

  I swear these tough types are such cry babies, they hear one little thing that makes them feel uncomfortable and their little nuts shrivel

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I started watching the original Star Trek series & like usual penispiration was born... didn't know that Captain Kirk wasn't in the first episode...

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Masturbate Not Automate!

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Dick Mouth!

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I would like you on a long black leash

I will parade you on the high streets

you've got the attraction

you've got the power

Walk my doggie, walk my little sex dwarf

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the other day my boss said to me, "think about how your job could be automated" & I couldn't help but think, "that's the last fucking thing I wanna do!"

 When I eventually get laid off I want to know about it five minutes before I log into the unemployment website... Bethany says it will be OK, we can move to Ely, NV and live on the cheap, I can draw dicks all day and she can work from home... As much as I hate working, I do like eating at hip new restaurants & I love drinking over priced cocktails while I am out on the town... In Ely, Coors Light is consider a craft beer, blah, blah, blah, for the record I love Ely and if I would have planned better I would go there this weekend... I love the the Hotel Nevada & I love drinking at the Liberty O'Aces Club... 

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Today was a great reminder, fuck work! Fuck upper management! Fuck lower management! Fuck all jobs but hand jobs! To quote my homie Jozef, "I no buddy - buddy with supervisor, they know they gonna fire your ass anyway"

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 Going to the grocery store at 3:45am is pretty fun...

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Get me the fuck out of here! 

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Damn, I am dragging balls this morning (afternoon), coffee is not cutting it.. did a quick turn around trip to L.A. yesterday and now my body is saying to me, "fuck you!" 

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Gavin McPenis... the thing that bothers me the most about Gavin McInnes is that he seems like someone that could have been one of my friends... 

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stop bugging me!

another spin on the previous posts idea

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100 post 365 Days of Cock post... word up, this calls for a celebration... sadly it will have to hold off till tomorrow, I had the concept for a bug alien kind of thing, but I might have to do this a few more times till I get the right one... 

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Up the Cox!

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I had a rough night at work and I felt that the only way to alleviate that was to get drunk, draw some cock art, and jam Lumpy and the Dumpers 

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my favorite part of doing the Neti Pot is that it feels like someone has cum on my moobs...

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the request: Let me see that thong!

The Answer: You asked!

Another early 2000's tribute, this tie to the Sisqo tune the Thong Song...

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"It's getting hot in herre, so take off all your clothes!"

I swear Nelly wrote this song about my current place of employment in the summer time, because it is so hot you want to take off your clothes and jump into the fountain... anyway I learned something from this, do not attempt to draw someone off an artist's music video the results are obvious, since this looks nothing like Nelly... 

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the weekend is a good time for cock, On Saturday I was walking around Art In the Park (Boulder City, NV) when I spotted something that cracked me up, the Boulder City Mounted Police! Awesome, inspiration was born just like last year.

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Fuck Kavanaugh! If you have the opportunity and he is willing take the plunge into his puckered starfish... Mitch McConnll is putting Kavanaugh's cock washer to good use while Lindsey Graham is rounding off the French Sandwich with his penis in the honey hole! Good going for Lindsay for finally losing his virginity...

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from out of the sewer comes doom!

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Cum on dudes how hard is it to be against a liar & an accused sexual assaulter?

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Today at work a guest talked to me about politics, when he decided I wasn't a Democrat he turned the subject to Brett Kavanaugh, in his defense for Judge Kavanaugh's alleged sexual assault he asked me,  "who hasn't gotten drunk and sexually assaulted someone when they were young?" I told him, "me!", he seemed uncomfortable about my answer and quickly changed the subject... a couple of hours later I brought up the story up to my boss and he tells me about a similar story he heard at the bar he hangs out at, a guy says, "what is the big deal? when I was younger my friend and I took turns holding down a girl and we had sex with her" My boss disgusted asks him, "so you are saying that you are a rapist", the guy tells him, "no, she liked it", "my boss informs him, "if you have to hold her down you are raping here"... I am pretty drunk, I don't know what to add, but these two stories bother me so much, I feel so sad, scared, and embarrassed as a man... I hate the thought of someone being sexually assaulted and the fact that these two freely shared this is so disturbing... I probably should have written about this when I was sober and could have elaborated more, my fear is that if I was sober I might not have shared....

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I love sweet potatoes & yams, & not because they are a super whatever... and not because they look like a dick... I just enjoy eatin' them  

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Halloween is coming so dress up like a dickhead and there is no bigger dick head than Mitt McConnell...

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I love the Kitty!

there used to be a gang in my neighborhood called the Reet Boys, I often whatever happened to them... 

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one of my favorite records of recent time is Lumpy and the Dumpers - Huff My Sack, it is so raw, so Rock 'n' Roll, and most importantly Punk Rock! Since the mid 80's I have been a little shit that has loved punk, now that we are in recent times I am huge and fat as fuck and I still love punk rock... special note this is the first drawing I know of where I have put a wedding ring on my finger...