Friday, November 30, 2018

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Another day out of work due to this fucked up back situation, damn I have missed like half of this month., oh well!

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"I want big cock, I want rock hard cock and we've got it, I have the biggest hardest cock in the planet right now!"

A tribute to the guy who tells the biggest fishing tales, enjoys diet Coke, and McDonald's...

Thursday, November 29, 2018

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A tribute to East Las Vegas, Karlaoke, and the Exploited album Lets Start A War, sure I don't remember enjoying the album Let's Start A War, but I liked the albums Punks Not Dead, Troops Of Tomorrow, and Death Before Dishonor... 

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"This diamond ring doesn't shine for me any more & this diamond ring doesn't mean what it meant before" a tribute to a song that I love...

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

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My favorite thing about being on a one way path to hell is knowing I'll be spending eternity with Bighorn Sheep and cute as fuck Goats!

 I think I may have broken a record with this drawing, I may have been the drunkest I have ever been while working on a drawing and when you are that drunk everything seems harder and everything takes longer...blah, blah, blah Time to abuse some sleeping pills

 Now for my favorite PSA

Monday, November 26, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 172


+9999999999999999999999++++++ 

 It is kind of weird doing a parody of an artist who makes the kind of stuff I like to look at, I love Nick Blinko's art work, visually it is one of, if not the highest points of punk, sound wise I put their first 2 7"s in the same league as Circle Jerks - Group Sex, Poison Idea - Pick Your King, TSOL - Dance With Me...etc

 I could never get into Crass which is why it took me a while to get into Rudimentary Peni, I just assumed they would be shitty, slow artsy shit, which is bizarre because I love Flipper, but I was a huge Life of Lies fan and I remember Brandon being into all of those bands like Zounds, Dirt, Rudimentary Peni...etc So thought, "what the hell this guy's band rules!" I was on Melrose in the early 90's and I picked up the CD The EP's of RP and holy shit it was awesome, I was so blown away....

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Fuck Cyber Monday!
I'm spending the day hung over!
It's also Nation Cake Day which is yummy!

Sunday, November 25, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 170

I used to be in a band called Puckered Starfish, for the most part we have long been forgotten, but for a short while in the mid 90's we played a few shows in Las Vegas and a couple in California, you can check out some of our gig flyers herehereherehere, & here ...maybe one day I'll get around to digitizing some Puckered Starfish tracks and uploading, until that time you will be left with this drawing that if the band was going now would most probably be used...

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Part 2 in my tribute to my favorite wrestlers, this time around Bruiser Brody... Bruiser Broday was quite the bad ass! 

Saturday, November 24, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 168

Not sure what to call this, Al fudgepaca, Fudge Paca, or Alpacking Fudge... whatever, it's an alpaca fudge packing a guy that is packaging fudge, as a vegetarian I didn't feel comfortable drawing an animal fudge packing a person because I guess that is where the line is, but I love stupid puns and what not so here it is...

 A couple years pack I was drunk sitting on the porch at Atomic Liquors when I saw a couple of llamas walk by, I was super drunk and super stoked when some woman says to me, "those aren't really llamas, they are alpacas... Tony Hsieh just says they are llamas, but llamas are mean so he parades his alpacas around as llamas" I didn't know what was what and I didn't care, I was pissed. Not at Tony Hsieh, but at this buzz kill, I was just stoked to see llamas, alpacas, or whatever the fuck walking down the street, I didn't need this Debbie Downer bringing me down, I was starting to wish it was a bear walking down the street so it would eat her...

Friday, November 23, 2018

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 I remember being a little kid in the 80's and watching wrestling and loving Andre the Giant, this is a tribute to that guy! 

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Back due to popular demand, by popular demand I mean the three perverts from India that frequent this blog, by frequent I mean have checked this blog out one time by accident, now that we got that over... After drawing Peter Piss the other day I was reminded that not only was Kiss my first record, but Kiss was also my first concert. In 1979 my parents took my older brother Kevin and I to see Kiss on the Dynasty tour, I don't remember much about the concert, but I have a few images of Gene Simmons (no relations to Russel) sticking out his tongue 

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It's Buy Nothing Day or National Buy Nothing Day, whatever your preference I don't give 2 shits, but for the record I have taken two shits since waking up... In observation of this holiday here is some tips on things you can do instead of mowing down grandma at the outlet mall

1) Take a shit, I highly suggest reading the book You Are A Complete Disappointment: A Triumphant Memoir of Failed Expectations by Mike Edison... Didn't realize this until reading this book but Mike played in the Raunch Hands, which is an awesome band kind of punk, kind of country, kind of whatever...

2) Go on a hike, this is what I do every year, in fact one year I hurt myself jumping off a boulder so not only was it Buy Nothing Day, but it turned into not being able to afford anything for a month since I was off work for a few weeks, which is funny because I am currently getting over an injury that took me out of work for close to ten days, blah, blah, blah, who cars no one reads this shit any way...

3)Hang Out With Libby, I love Libby... I love listening to tunes and petting Libby while reading whatever smut is around

4) Listen to Youth Of Today, Fuck Black Friday, No More! I won't participate! Sure they were talking about not eating meat, but I assume Youth of Today and the rest of the Youth Crew didn't wake up early on Black Friday to fight over discounted projection TV's at Walmart.

 Since we are on the subject of listening to records, how about Snuff's album Snuff Said, such a great record, so great I am jamming it right now

5) Just don't buy shit! I know you belly ache about everything, but this is like the easiest fucking stand to take, and for fuck sake you can buy twice as much shit tomorrow. I know you want to run out  to Record City and buy the Sheryl Crow Tuesday Night Music Club reissue, but fuck Record Store Day as well, but since you are going if you can pick me up a copy of the Soul Asylum Twin/Tone Years boxset I will gladly pay you for it tomorrow...

Fuck, I am craving some Indian food, but that would require buying shit... oh well

Looks like we made it to a second round of Buy Nothing Day on 365 Days of Cock, hopefully I'll see you next year for round 3

Thursday, November 22, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 164

Wow, 365 Days of Cock has made it to it's second Thanksgiving... whooptie fucking doo! If you are into dick check out these previous ones that equally suck HERE & HERE ...I am not the biggest fan of Thanksgiving, but if you put aside all the bullshit I guess it's nice that people get together for a big family dinner even though they will be reluctantly doing it again a month later... My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the next day when my family takes part in Buy Nothing Day & most importantly the Black Friday Hike... anyway this drawing was inspired by those turkey hand art projects we all did as a kid... 

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Sunday, November 18, 2018

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Peter Piss
I don't consider myself a Kiss fan, but when I was a kid I thought I was a Kiss fan because I liked Gene Simmons and Peter Criss's, I thought the cat face was bad ass and Gene Simmons had blood coming out of his mouth, which was pretty cool. I never quite knew what Paul Stanley was suppose to be and every asshole wanted to be Ace Frehley... With that said this is my tribute to Peter Criss

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My cum be your life source
and the only way to get it
is to suck or fuck
or be poor and devoid
and masturbate me
masturbate me...
...you asked I obliged 
It could be argued that masturbating someone else is not masturbation, but a delightful gesture from a friend...  Well, for thoe not in the know this is a tribute to the Misfits classic Bullet. 

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Signs someone is a sexual predator: they have a penis

 Before you get your testicles in an uproar I obviously don't mean all men, this drawing is inspired by an interview I heard with a men's rights activist, he was trying to justify (or lessen) the sexual assault of woman by stating that rape among men in the United States is almost equal to woman, the interviewer shot back with something along the lines of, "yeah, but there is one factor in almost 100% of those sexual assaults, & that it is men that are doing the assaults"


Wednesday, November 14, 2018

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Bad news my doctor says I have a bulged disc not a bulged dick!

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 I don't know why but last night I remembered how much I loved Triceratops as a kid, they were cool!

 In the pic about you have a Triceratops battling a Tyrannosaurus Sex, the T-Sex gets a horn right through his horn dog body


In this next drunken doodle we have a Triceracocks drinking a can of beer and just having an overall good time! 

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got the new Sick Of It All album and so far I am enjoying it, I whipped this up while listening to it!

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

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Sitting at home icing my back gives me plenty of time to think about shit, such as growing up in Hawaii, so I whipped this hang loose with the shaka hand sign... this drawing has nothing to do with penis, I just added one so I could include it into this project

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another drawing featuring Libby, skateboarding, beer, and a penis... good times!

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 Thanksgiving is cummin'... which means it is the start of the dreaded holiday season.

 I can tell I am starting to feel better since I have started to churn these things out again, it wan't too long ago when I couldn't get out of bed. Tomorrow I'll find out what I did to my back and hopefully I will be back to work by the end of the week. As much as going to work sucks, sitting around icing your back and watching TV sucks, I like being drunk, dancing around my house, drawing dicks, & jamming punk rock records. I am not the type of person that likes to sit down so this has been a weird week... 

Monday, November 12, 2018

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As a fan of Slap A Ham and Power Violence music, as well as being one of America's least talented cock artist I thought it would be important for me to whip up a tribute to the Neanderthal 7" Fighting Music, so here it is... if you have 90 bucks laying around treat yourself to a copy of it!

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Underberg Tales: A few years back some dude named Manfred gave me a Underberg & told me, "tomorrow there will be a surprise for you!" When I woke the nexted morning I pooped out what felt like a tree branch.... 

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I love walruses, they are super cute! 

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through the years I have been amazed at the shit that some of my fellow coworkers have gone through for the slight chance at being a part of management... usually it never works out because the company just hires someone from outside the company & on the rare occasion it does happen, the person becomes a dick and usually gets fired for fucking up... I have seem a few cool as fuck people move up, but they seemed destined for that from the get go & didn't have to kiss any ass... 

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Friday, November 9, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 139

Mobs Not Jobs!
 If by "mobs" you mean peaceful protesters harassing a pieces of shit that purposely doesn't make themselves accessible to their constituency because they are too afraid of get yelled at during a town hall meeting, then I am all for it... as for the "jobs" part, fuck off! Donald Trump & for the most part any other "job" creator, these fucks only create jobs because they have to and if they could get away with it they wouldn't pay their employees shit, so fuck off! Also, I hardly doubt that the average fascist chanting that shit creates shit besides actual shit, for example feces... I only used the "for example" because I wanted to use the word "feces" & the redundant use of "shit" cracked me up.. 

 For the record fuck the guy that dumped, Mitch McConnell's leftovers, you have just made every fat fuck "including myself" empathize with this guy... Sure the likelihood of myself having leftover is unlikely, but I do enjoy eating the leftovers of non fat fucks that think a Cuba sandwich can feed 4...

 Still injured and it sucks, missed a couple of days of work and will probably miss a third... oh well, it has given me a chance to read My Prison Walls by GG Allin, fuck I am so glad I did not pay for this book... I do appreciate learning that GG Allin refers to dinner as "supper" and it cracks me up that he tracks how many times he masturbates in jail, but I like to read and this book is for those that don't. I did enjoy some of his art work...

 It was very sad to wake up and read about the Thousand Oaks mass shooting, sure nothing will change and there will be another mass shooting, but it doesn't change how upsetting this is... 

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 138

Inspired by a painting I did many years back, my back hurts and that kills the creative bug... ouch!

 It was election night, how about Nevada we voted in all of the mediocre corporate democrats and a dead guy... 

Monday, November 5, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 137

Damn, Bachelor Party came out in 1984, damn my parents must not have given a fuck or they were negligent, I believe it was a combination of both... I remember seeing Bachelor Party as a little kid and loving the part where the little nerdy guy fucks the woman and in the morning he runs into her into the bathroom, and she stands and urinates into the toilet, brilliant! I also love the part in the strip club where some stripper named Nick The Dick delivers a tray of hot dogs to the bachelorette party, but one of the hot dog buns was not filled with a wiener, but a human cock... ha, comedy genius!

Friday, November 2, 2018

365 Days of Cock A.D. 133


American Cockic

 Whipped this one up while laying on the heating pad, inspired by the American Gothic painting but adding my signature cock and instead of a farmer you get a feisty Rudy Giuliani 

Thursday, November 1, 2018

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How To Stay Out Of HR: don't flash your cock at coworkers & don't share 365 Days Of Cock with them... this one is a two for one! It is crazy that flashing your dick at a coworker is a thing, what is victim of this suppose to do, say "thanks!"? Has there ever been a positive reaction to this, I assume not... If you got a dick and you want to flash it, don't!